Monday, February 01, 2010

What's It Take To Be A Republican?

A friend of mine sent me an e-mail that gives our Governor, John Hoeven, credit (rightfully so, it appears) for having influenced the Republican National Committee at its winter meeting in Hawaii last week.

The RNC adopted a resolution that urges party leadership to “carefully screen the record and statements of all candidates who profess to be Republicans” and to determine “that they wholeheartedly support the core principles” of the Republican platform.

That could only be a reaction, my friend says, to our Governor’s announcement that he is running for the U.S. Senate, after national blogs last week printed stories about his conversion from the Democratic Party to the Republican Party (credit my friend Chad Nodland over at northdecoder.com for starting that bandwagon).

Well, I was curious as to how they were going to do this, so I decided to do some research, and it is amazing what you can find on the Internet these days. If you Google enough word combinations, enough times, you can find anything. I found the test that the RNC is going to give to its candidates to check their purity. Here it is.

2010 REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE PURITY TEST

1. Who are you most likely to vote for in the 2012 presidential election?

A. Barack Obama

B. Ralph Nader

C. Sarah Palin

2. Who’s the best television political analyst in America?

A. Keith Olbermann

B. Ed Schultz

C. Sarah Palin

3. What do you see as the most important political issue of 2010?

A. Bringing health care to 40 million Americans

B. Putting 20 million Americans back to work

C. Making sure Sarah Palin stays in the public eye as she prepares for 2012

4. Who is the most popular former governor in the United States?

A. Rod Blagojevich

B. Bill Janklow

C. Sarah Palin

5. Despite public opinion polls, who was the most popular governor in the United States in 2008? (careful here, Gov. Hoeven-watch your ego)

A. John Hoeven

B. Rod Blagojevich

C. Sarah Palin

6. What state had the most far-sighted Governor in 2009?

A. John Hoeven (he could see Canada from his place)

B. Rod Blagojevich (he could see the Illinois state pen from his place)

C. Sarah Palin (she could see Russia from her place)

7. Who would you prefer to see host Saturday Night Live?

A. Paul McCartney

B. Tina Fey

C. Sarah Palin

8. Whose eyeglasses started a national fashion trend in 2008?

A. Theodore Roosevelt

B. Ben Franklin

C. Sarah Palin

9. What would you say would be your perfect vacation?

A. Two weeks in January on a beach in Hawaii

B. An all expenses paid 30 day trip around the world

C. Salmon fishing for a couple hours in hip waders with Sarah Palin

10. If you could bring someone into your state to endorse you and help you with your 2010 campaign, who would it be?

A. God

B. Taylor Swift

C. Sarah Palin

Answers: C.

Scoring:

10 correct: You’re on the ballot, the RNC and Tea Party checks are in the mail.

8-9 correct: There’s some hope for you. You’re eligible for a 10-day Tea Party “workshop” to get your mind right.

0-7 correct: Call the DNC and see if they have any candidate openings.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Some Saturday morning meanderings from and "outlier". (1) In the 1996 letter previously cited Mr. Hoevan stated that he had been tutored in his political views by the likes of Heidi Heitkamp, Rolland Redlin (a First Western employee), Evertt Dobrinski, etal. He has, however seen the light and the unconcealed hopes of the blogger that he may again switch his party label is remote---his political success has been in NOT being in the likeness of those mentioned and only one successful politician has switched parties twice--Mr. Churchill (in his phrase " I not only ratted, but reratted". (2) Have coffee with your "cousin" as per her invitation, because the prevailing political winds have it that she will be to busy come January, and Mr. Potter will have lots of free time. (3) I am grateful for the demise of Mr. Obama's health care schemes for two reasons--(a)it's a bad idea, and (2)I have learned the true meaning of the term "schadenfreude". (4) I got all the quiz questions correct except number 8--I'll always prefer Franklin glasses. Keep the faith. Ty